Romancing at four minutes a date; A check mark decides the future of relationships.
Post date: 2007-10-02
Source - Hamilton Spectator
Lori Fazari
The lights are dim and the candles lit. At every table, couples sit in the flickering light, chatting, laughing, gesturing into the air. The din of dozens of conversations fills the banquet hall. Until a whistle blows after four minutes and every man in the house gets up and switches seats, while the women stay put. A new round of introductions and conversations begins. This -- the candles, the swanky hall, the chatter -- is speed dating. The concept has been around a while, but its arrival in Hamilton is new. On Saturday night, the banquet hall at Carmen's Piazza was for singles only. People in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s mixed and mingled and met someone new every four minutes -- although the older age group had six-minute stints because there were fewer guests. Four minutes is not a long time to date someone. But when the conversation is plodding and stammering along, it feels like an eternity until the rescue whistle blows again. "For some of them there's panic," said Mary Faille, on a break from the whirlwind romancing. On the other hand, "If you enjoy talking to someone, it's too quick," the 41-year-old said. It's not even 10 p.m. and she's already had 13 dates on this Saturday night, not bad for the $55 cost of admission. On her scorecard are her dates' names and a check mark by the four lucky men she found interesting enough to want to see again. "One is 100 per cent definitely. The other three are maybes." That scorecard was handed in at the end of the night, after another 10 dates, to event organizers Laura Bilotta and Melissa Seifert, who own Oakville-based Single in the City. They'll tally the results from the roughly 130 participants and match up the people who were interested in each other. Then they'll e-mail everyone with their matches by this evening. It's up to the singles to arrange to meet again. Single in the City has held events in cities from here to Toronto. They'll be in Oakville on Feb. 4, back in Hamilton for Valentine's Day and in Burlington later in February. Events are also being planned for Chapters stores. Their Web site is http://www.singleinthecity.ca, or call 905-469-9166. The mix was professional and blue collar on Saturday night, a few trying to find their soulmates but most just out to meet new people. They weren't desperately lovelorn or pining for love at first sight -- just sick of bars and blind dates. "It's so hard to meet people. I don't want to go to a bar. I don't want to do the Internet thing," said 54-year-old Christine, sipping a glass of white wine before the dating began. "It's not like you're on a blind date (here) and you can't get away." Once everyone was registered and given a name tag to wear, the hosts got on the stage, where the jazz band was playing, and explained the dating ritual. Everyone found their seats, organized by age groups, and some 65 conversations began at once. Christine's first date was with Randy, who was wearing a suit jacket and tie. Any nervousness about what to say flitted away over the introductions. They talked about what brought them here, how they're busy and don't get a chance to meet people, how their kids helped them get ready for the evening. "Tell me what your idea of the perfect first date is?" Randy asked. "I like theatre. I like going out to dinner," she said. So does he. They begin talking about work, and before you know it six minutes have passed and the whistle blows. Randy switched seats and Jim, an engineer, took his place. Meanwhile, Christine gave Randy a yes check mark on her scorecard. The ritual began again. Then it's Mike, then Doug, then Morgan before she has a breather. "I've met a couple of nice ones that I wouldn't mind meeting again," she said. Her final tally after another few dates is three people she'd like to see again, the next time with more than six minutes to spare. "We'll see what happens." Friends Dave Molineux and Geoff Powell walked away with eight or nine choices on their scorecards, after more than 20 dates. "I haven't met anybody I didn't like. They're all friendly," Powell said. "It's better than spending 60 bucks in a night buying beer." And if they haven't matched up after they check their e-mail tonight, they can always buy the $25 Single in the City shirts and wait for the next speed date. lfazari@thespec.com or 905-526-3993. Illustration(s): Photo: Ron Pozzer, the Hamilton Spectator Vesna Lukic of Hamilton spends four minutes getting to know one of the 25 men she met at a speed-dating party for singles at Carmen's Piazza.
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